Memories are forever

My "visita cementerio" this year was limited to Tagbilaran cemeteries. I, sighed, failed to visit some great cemeteries in Guindulman, Calape, Loon and Anda.

I am not morbid but I always make it sure that every Kalag-Kalag I practice my "visita cementerio. " To this I have three reasons: (1) To give me spiritual theme that we have left to live a life united to G-d's merciful love, (2) to know more of our cemeteries, and (3) to know the people who passed away.

I just contented myself visiting first the Dampas Catholic Cemetery where it  houses the remains of the dean of Boholano journalists lawyer Zoilo Dejaresco and wife Rosario, Miguel Parras, Bernardino Inting, Asuncion Mira, Alberto Cainglet, Lucio Guy Lim,  Dr. Margarito Lim, Zenaida Darunday, Uly Dolojol, among other respected Boholanos who went ahead of us.

Victoria Memorial Park (ViMPark), laid out in 1975, houses notable people like Doña Basing, Obdulio and Juana Caturza Sr., Antonio Ong Guat, Carolina Alvarez, Erico Aumentado, Prisco and Socorro Tallo, Nelson Rio Sr., Will and Cristeta Tirol, and many others.

An interesting trivia about Victoria Memorial Park is via Aurelio "Ondoy Kalag" Gahit, whose name is synonymous to ViMPark.

He has spent most of his life at ViMPark that he, well, perfectly memorize all the names and locations of your loved ones.

He is also famous for his “graveside etiquette” to behave during a graveside service with the same attitude of respect and courtesy.

Ondoy said people might think a cemetery would make us feel sadder because it is a very stark reminder of the reality of our loss. But for him, although sadness is pronounced, a cemetery is a reminder for closure and healing.

There is no dull moment with Ondoy. He has lots of stories---love and ghostly stories.

He said he could not forget a man who spent over 10 years holding vigil at his wife’s grave every day, arriving when the cemetery opened and heading home when it closed.

He said he was touched of the man's loyalty and undying love.

Being more comfortable living with the dead, he recalled one horrific incident in 1993.

A mantiyanak (a woman who died in labor), who stirred the neighborhood appeared to him. Many people were said to have heard her singing lullabies to her baby, causing hair-raising chills and making them tremble in fear.

He saw the mantiyanak seemingly asking for help.

“She appeared to me,” he said.

He went to see a Catholic priest and he was told to pray at the grave of the person. After praying, the ghostly apparitions stopped.

Just this Friday, November 1, I spent the night at the Victoria Memorial Park to visit the graves of my sister, aunts, uncles and relatives.

As I watched each grave sites, I realized life has meaning and purpose. And some day it will end.

The cemetery will remind us of that. But it will also give us clarity and focus to use in charting the path ahead.

When I went home, I played (I never get tired playing and replaying) one of my favorite songs "Dust in the Wind," especially in this season when we are overwhelmed by intimations of mortality.

Listen closely and be humbled by the song’s message:

Dust in the Wind
by Kansas

I close my eyes, only for a moment
And the moment’s gone
All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind

Same old song, just a drop of water
In an endless sea
All we do crumbles to the ground
Though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind

Now, don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever

But the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money

Won’t another minute buy

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind

Dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind    

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